The Dummy Dilemma: A Paediatric Sleep Consultant’s Perspective

Few baby topics divide parents quite like the dummy. For some, it’s a lifesaver, calming their baby in seconds and helping them settle to sleep. For others, it’s a constant battle: the middle of the night reinsertions, the daycare limits, or the fear of how (and when) to let it go.

As a paediatric sleep consultant, I’ve seen both sides, families who thrive with a dummy and those who feel trapped by it. So let’s unpack the pros, cons, and how to gently say goodbye when the time feels right.

The Purpose of a Dummy

Dummies (or pacifiers) are designed to meet a baby’s natural sucking reflex, which is deeply soothing and comforting. For many newborns, sucking isn’t just about feeding, it’s a built-in calming mechanism. This is why dummies can be incredibly helpful in the early months.

They can:

• Reduce crying and provide comfort between feeds

• Help babies settle to sleep (especially when overtired or overstimulated)

• Lower the risk of SIDS when used for sleep in the first year

So, yes… a dummy can be a great sleep tool. But like any sleep aid, the key is how it’s used.

When a Dummy Becomes a Sleep Hurdle

Around 4–6 months, many babies move from short, frequent sleep cycles to longer, more defined ones. This is when dummy use can start to impact sleep, especially if your baby relies on it to fall asleep and can’t replace it independently.

You might notice:

• Frequent night wakings where your baby cries until the dummy is replaced

• Catnapping or short naps due to the dummy falling out mid-cycle

• Frustration for both parent and baby when it becomes a constant game of “find the dummy”

At this stage, the dummy can shift from helpful tool to sleep association. That means your baby relies on it to fall asleep, and without it, they can’t resettle on their own.

When to Consider Ditching the Dummy

There’s no universal “right” time, but there are a few indicators that it might be time to transition away from it:

• Your baby is waking multiple times a night for dummy replacements

• You’re feeling frustrated or exhausted by the dependency

• Your child is older than 12 months and using it mostly for comfort rather than genuine need

• Speech or dental professionals have raised concerns about prolonged use

Many families choose to keep the dummy for the first 4–6 months, then reassess. Others decide to wait until around 12 months, when toddlers can better understand a transition.

How to Ditch the Dummy (Without Tears All Round)

Every baby is different, and so is every parent’s comfort level. Here are several approaches that work well depending on your child’s age and temperament.

1.

Cold Turkey (Best for 6–18 months)

This approach is the simplest but requires consistency. Once you decide it’s gone, it’s gone. Expect a few unsettled nights as your baby adjusts, but within 3–5 days most children adapt beautifully when supported with extra comfort and connection.

Tips:

• Choose a calm week with no big changes (travel, illness, etc.)

• Offer extra cuddles, comfort items, or gentle rocking during the transition

• Stay consistent once it’s gone, reintroducing it can be confusing

2.

Gradual Weaning (Best for under 12 months)

If you prefer a gentler transition, start by limiting dummy use to sleep times only. Once that’s going well, remove it for naps first, then bedtime.

Tips:

• Introduce other settling cues like patting, singing, or a comforter

• Gradually reduce how much you offer it for sleep over 1–2 weeks

• Keep bedtime routines calm and predictable

3.

The Dummy Fairy (Best for toddlers)

This is a lovely, magical approach for older toddlers who can understand simple stories. Explain that the “Dummy Fairy” visits to collect dummies for new babies who need them, and in return leaves a small gift or note. I personally used the Easter Bunny to take the dummy. The night before the Easter Bunny was coming we made a nest and popped all the dummies in. Bedtime was a breeze that night, to this day I’m not sure if it was a fluke or not! The next morning the Easter Bunny had taken all of the dummies and replaced them with a couple of nice easter eggs.

Tips:

• Prepare your child in advance, talk about it for a few days beforehand

• Let them choose where to leave the dummy

• Celebrate their “big kid” moment with lots of praise and reassurance

4.

Replacement Strategy

If your child is emotionally attached to the dummy, replace the sucking comfort with another form of security, such as a soft toy, blanket, or even gentle back rubs at bedtime. This helps meet the same comfort need in a new way.

Supporting Sleep After the Dummy

Once the dummy is gone, your child might need a few extra supports while learning to self-settle. A few gentle tweaks can make a big difference:

• Adjust the bedtime routine to focus on calm connection, stories, cuddles, and consistent cues.

• Introduce a comforter (if age appropriate and always adhering to safe sleep practices).

• Respond to tears calmly, your presence and reassurance are key as they learn new settling skills.

Remember: the goal isn’t to remove comfort, it’s to shift how comfort is found.

The Bottom Line

Dummies aren’t “good” or “bad”, they’re simply a tool. Like any tool, they can be incredibly useful when used intentionally and phased out when they start to hinder more than help.

If your baby or toddler relies on one for sleep, you’re not doing anything wrong. And if you decide to let it go, know that with gentle consistency and connection, your child will adapt quickly.

Sometimes, a little sleep disruption now can mean a lot more restful nights ahead, for everyone.